My Rituals Have Changed a Hundred Times. That's the Point.

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When I was in my twenties, I was the girl who was so focused on succeeding that I didn't let myself pause. I didn't give myself permission to relax - I felt like I couldn't, because I had to prove to the world that I was serious and focused. I never really slowed down enough to consider how I wanted to feel each day, to reflect on what was actually important for me to experience. I'm not talking about goals. I'm talking about how I wanted to show up in my own life. Honey, I can tell you I had a wake-up call one day when I realized I was meant for more, and I had to admit I wasn't living up to my potential. Somewhere along the way, I'd stopped being the real me and started being a version of me that did all the right things because that's what I was supposed to do.

Over a few years, I shifted how I showed up - and in fact, I shifted who showed up. For the last decade, I've been the woman who wakes up giving gratitude as soon as I'm conscious. I give thanks for the day, for the blessing of being here. I do this with my eyes closed, silently giving thanks for my husband and our kids, then branching out to other family and friends I choose to focus on. Then I take a deep breath in and a slow, slow exhale. That's the version of me who shows up. That's the authentic, softer me who created her dream life - and is thankful to live it everyday.

There's a difference between a routine and a ritual, even when they look identical from the outside. A routine is something you do to get it done - the same motions, repeated until they're automatic. A ritual is the same motion, but held with intention. It's not about what you're doing, it's about why and how. I didn't always understand that difference. For a long time, I treated my days like one long checklist, and I wondered why even the good parts felt rushed. What changed wasn't doing more - it was learning that different parts of my life need different rituals, and that the rituals themselves are allowed to change as I do.

Fifteen years ago, I was a new mom with a baby and a lot of changes and shifting needs. Now I'm a mom of two teens, and my rituals are completely different. In between, I've changed my rituals multiple times - sometimes every week, if that's what I needed. Here's what they actually look like right now - in the morning, at night, on Sundays, and on the days that don't go as planned.

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The Morning Ritual

My morning ritual always starts with gratitude upon waking. I drink water to hydrate my body after sleeping all night and  then I step into my bathroom to do  my gua sha tool (paid link), then I journal to activation music. Floor Pilates workout is next, and then more water. After my my shower I slather on my Salt and Stone Bergamot and Hindi body lotion (paid link) - the scent alone feels like a reward for getting though Pilates .

The Night Ritual

My wind-down routine is about one thing only: telling my body it's time for rest. I'm a night owl by nature, so I need all the cues I can get to feel relaxed and ready for sleep. Dimming the lights helps a lot. I light a candle or two in our bathroom while I shower or do skincare - and my True Botanicals Pure Radiance Face Serum (paid link) is the one step I never skip. I always wear soft pajamas (it helps me relax) and I put on my robe, read a book, and sip an herbal tea.

The Sunday Ritual

Sunday is a rest day. My husband and I make breakfast together, then sip coffee in our sunroom looking out at the ocean, talking about our big dreams and aspirations - along with the more mundane talk of plans for the week and our family calendar. We always reach for our Le Creuset Vancouver Mugs in Sea Salt (paid link) - they keep everything at the perfect temperature and honestly just make Sunday mornings feel more special. Afterward, we're usually read, and later we pick a recipe for family dinner and cook together over music playlists and a glass or two of champagne or wine - yes, we do this every Sunday. Life is too short to not enjoy these small rituals.

The Ritual for Hard Days

I believe you should do whatever works for you on your hardest days. No one knows what you're experiencing, and no one can comfort you the way you can comfort yourself. Rituals are meant to help you feel your best. They can bring clarity, calm, or comfort. I hope you build your own ritual  - one that supports you in whatever season of life you're in.

Xoxo, 
Nicole