“You better tone down your passions, they’re not realistic.”

“Don’t share your opinions, they’re too strong!”

“Blend into the background to avoid standing out.”

These are the types of messages that society, and even some well intentioned people like to say to us when we express our true selves.

In a world where conformity often gets pushed as a priority it's easy to fall into the trap of diminishing your uniqueness simply because someone else’s fear of standing out dictates how they move through life. 

Stop dimming your light. Do not minimize yourself. 

What if I told you that your uniqueness is your superpower? Because when you embrace your individuality and stop making yourself small you blow open the doors to living an authentic, best-level lifestyle.

What Is Minimizing Yourself?

In Psychology rationalizing your feelings is typically called “minimizing”. It’s always helpful to recognize ways we may self-minimize so here’s a few examples.

1. Sitting in the back of the classroom, conference, or meeting in order to avoid being seen or chosen to speak. 
2. Physically trying to make yourself seem small, less large, less tall. 
3. Not speaking up or sharing your thoughts or opinions. 
4. Never asking questions or being curious.
5. Ignoring your emotional, or physical needs.
6. Downplaying your own wants, needs, likes or preferences.
7. Using phrases such as, “Oh, it was nothing”, “It is not a big deal”.

What Is The Opposite Of Self-Minimization? 

The opposite of minimizing is “maximizing”. Also called “catastrophizing” this behavior can be defined by these characteristics:

1. Exaggerating the importance of an event 
2. Imagining the worst possible outcome of an event or activity
3. Overthinking the past or everyday situations 

How To Stop Minimizing Yourself

Here’s two tips that work for me to stop being so critical of myself:

Tip #1 Journaling About Why I Minimize Myself

I’ve journaled off and on for many years. I always find that writing about the reason I have a particular habit is like turning on a giant light bulb in my mind. All the dark corners get illuminated. With the “light” on I can take a closer look at the source of my behavior. Then I have the clarity to do some strategizing to replace the habit with one that serves me better.

Tip #2 Sticking To My Wellness Standards

To be my best self for my family and friends, I prioritize self-care. Putting others first leads to burnout, so I remind myself to focus on my needs and values. My ego may try to keep me safe, but I am in control of my choices. So, I choose to care for wellbeing first in order to be there for others.

Final Thoughts

Never feel pressured to downplay your space in this world. Expressing yourself is what it means to be human. Just as sharing ideas, opinions, or taking action helps communicate your worth.

Yes, it can be an uncomfortable path to becoming your best self. Growth happens in the space of discomfort. In the end, when you stop minimizing who you truly are and start exploring who you want to be, you can live a more authentic and fulfilling life. 

More importantly, when you don’t let others define who you are or what you're capable of, you are well on your path to embracing your uniqueness. Being true to yourself not only creates a more fulfilling lifestyle but also inspires others to do the same. 

Let’s all be our true, authentic selves so we inspire everyone we cross paths with to live their best life.

Xoxo,

Nicole